Monday, September 21, 2009

Sorry I'm Not Entertaining You

I have other stuff in my life to worry about. Entertaining you is not on my list of priorities right now.

I'm not well. "Maybe you should go see a doctor and they can give you some nice happy pills"

I don't think you understand. Giving someone a pill isn't going to take away what has happened or what is going on. That will always be there regardless.

"But the medicine might make you happy"

See...by saying this the person might take is as "the medicine will make you...not you and that's a good thing. We don't like you right now. You need to be more fun." Yeah thanks.

Perhaps all you want to do is help this person and make their suffering stop though.

In that case, be a friend. Don't be a jerk and shove them away or ignore them or give them some medicine and hope that they will get better on their own. Trust me, being sad and alone doesn't make anyone feel any better.

What if the sad person is pushing you away? It's a defense mechanism. They don't want to hurt anyone else. They don't want to be a bother. I'm telling you though...you need to be there. Let them know they aren't a bother.

Perhaps they are pushing you away because they have trust issues. Perhaps every time they let someone in on their personal life, they end up getting hurt. I don't know what to tell you here. I have no solution for this case.

The best thing to do though....is listen. Try not to "fix" the problem. You can't fix it. Usually no one can fix it because what's been done is done. The sad person just needs to get through the sad somehow...and they need to find someone to help them through it.

Chances are when they finally find a person to help them get through the sad, the cycle will begin again and the sad person will get hurt, yet again, causing more sad.

Such is life.

~AM

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