SUPER SPECIAL EDITION

Yes! I am posting two things today!

I want to take the time to talk about the monster that is Kidz Bop. We all know Kidz Bop. We all remember seeing the commercials and saying to ourselves "Oh man....they made ANOTHER one?!". In fact Kidz Bop are still making lame commercials for their astoundingly horrible CDs still today.

I remember when I first started seeing commercials for these odd CDs. I was confused. I was terrified of the children dancing and the colors and odd imagery in the commercials. Singing "oops I did it again" with annoying little faces and annoying little kid voices. Honestly, when I think of Smash mouth's "All Star"....all I can think of is little kid voices belting out the chorus. I'm going to take you on a horrible ride now. Brace yourselves.

Yay...the first Kidz Bop was a hit with all that nonsense. They continued to take terrible songs and make them even worse and creating a CD out of it. A second one was produced with more awful songs. One Cd wasn't enough though...they made a 2 disc set.

Then to show how truly awful they were and much more awful they were to become, they decided to make a Kidz Bop Christmas CD. Who doesn't want to listen to robot children who can't quite understand the basic concept of what singing is sing lovable Christmas tunes? Honestly I'd rather listen to those Chipmunks on repeat.

Kidz Bop 3 was born and thus we all knew this was not going to end anytime soon. I was a little concerned that kids were singing songs such as "Whenever, wherever" too.

Oh God....then they sang "Sk8ter Boy" on Kidz Bop 4. I remember that commercial too. While the song "Beautiful" was playing in the backgroud...all the kids turn around and have those dumb glasses with the nose and mustache on them and they do this stupid hand thing. Seriously. Just look: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CErzt7ngFs&NR=1 This was around the time where I almost wanted Kidz Bop to make a full music video...just so I could laugh at how horribly bad it would be.

FUN FACT: Kidz Bop 1-4 were certified Gold. Yeah. I know.

Kidz Bop 5. They sang "It's my life" by No Doubt. I remember being pretty mad at that. I kinda like "Hey ya"...it was catchy. Then Kidz bop ruined it and I forever have the 8 second clip of them singing it during the commercial embedded into my head.

Kidz Bop Gold. This was the first time they attempted to ruin the reputation of the Beatles. I'll talk about this later. This CD marks the first time that Kidz Bop decided they had enough of making bad songs worse....they wanted to make good songs absolutely horrible. It wasn't about making songs more kid-friendly anymore. Oh no. Kidz Bop formed an entirely new and diabolical plan: "Let us slowly ruin all songs that were ever made" they said while twirling their peach fuzz.

I don't remember Kidz Bop making a Halloween CD...but apparently they did. Oh no! They sang the Ghostbusters Theme song!? And the Addams family song?! and "Time Warp"?!NO NO! Don't ruin "This Is Halloween" too!!! AND THRILLER!? >:-( Good thing these are only 30 second samples I'm listening to.

Kidz Bop 6 is the one where they sang "Toxic". I felt really uncomfortable about that. Like...seriously uncomfortable. They add in random "woo"s in the song...which makes me more uncomfortable.

Kidz Bop 7 was also certified Gold and I don't know why. Maybe I'm just bitter they really made "Float On" by Modest Mouse sound really terrible.

Kidz Bop 8 makes me really acrid. They dare make fools out of U2, Gwen Stefani and Franz Ferdinand!? NO! BAD KIDZ BOP. NAUGHTY NAUGHTY.

Kidz Bop 9 featured more robotic singing and ruining of both really really bad songs (Beverly Hills) and good songs too (Feel Good Inc.). At this point I think we were all asking "WHEN WILL IT END!? DOESN'T ANYONE SEE THAT THESE KIDS CAN'T SING!?".

But no, I didn't think it was possible, but a Kidz Bop 10 was made. They sang "Pump it". Huh.

In Kidz Bop 11 they sang Justin Timberlake's "My Love"...can they do that? Well actually the kids just shouted the whole song. Added in a bunch of "Yeah!" and "Woo!" and such. They also did "Crazy"...I love that song! Don't judge me. They attempted to do the laugh in that song...and it made them sound demonic. Which they are. Song featured on here that I really hate but have a strong emotional attachment to? "Lips of an Angel".

What's worse than monotone demon children singing already bad songs? Those same kids singing country. I don't wanna talk about that CD. Let's just say I am really glad "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk" is not on that CD.

Kidz Bop 12 featured the song "Umbrella" (ella ella ella aye aye aye). Wow yeah let's buy this for kids to sing along to. .... I was also really really really really mad to see that they sang BREAKFAST IN AMERICA!!! One person remaking and ruining that song was bad enough! Kidz Bop doesn't need to get it's grimy little hands on it too!

Kidz Bop 13....why are they singing "Party Like a Rockstar" now? Kids should not attempt to rap or say "yeeeah" in unison. I hope they never said "holla!".

Kidz Bop then decided that it should go back in time and start ruining things in other decades. Kidz Bop 80's Gold. Lot's of random "woo"s in this CD too. Terrible. The 80's weren't really a shining time anyway though.

Kidz Bop 14....haha they're singing Fergie again. That's funny. I was happy to see Kidz Bop went back to picking on songs that weren't all that great to begin with. I've got a pocket got a pocket full of sunshine! ugh.

Kidz Bop 15...I don't know any songs on this one. I successfully cut out that kind of music out of my life. So I'm just gonna say something else now. I will be super acrid if they sing "Supermassive Black Hole". I was mad when Twilight used it and everyone decided to like Muse then. I was also mad when people decided to like Radiohead because "15 Step" was featured in the credits of Twilight.

Kidz Bop Greatest Hits was just another way to take your money.

Kidz Bop 16...this is a really sketchy CD. I see 2 Miley Cyrus songs on this CD..and Kanye...and Britney Spears. Wow...they made "That's not My Name" sound worse than when it's sung by the Ting Tings live. Impressive. I'm also wondering what kid listens to these songs.

OK MAIN POINT OF BASHING KIDZ BOP IN THE FIRST PLACE: KIDZ BOP SINGS THE BEATLES. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! BAD AND WRONG. These kids sing these songs with no feeling...no soul. They are children of the corn for goodness sakes! I don't feel like smiling when I hear this. Even Yoko made me smile when she sang with the children in "Happy Christmas(War is Over)". Why why why....why would Kidz Bop do this? This is NONSENSE. I grew up on the real stuff. I think other children should too. I hope no one really bought this for their children. I....I don't think I would have any hope for humanity anymore if they did.

Kidz Bop has the nerve to release yet another CD after that. Kidz Bop 17 is due to be out soon. Of course "Party in the USA" (way to make an annoying song even more annoying....atta boy Kidz Bop) "Fireflies" (good for you) "I gotta feeling" (of course) and "Paparazzi" (Um...I don't think children should be listening to Lady Gaga) are included.

Kidz Bop survives solely to take as many songs as they can and make them annoying and terrible. So far they've been doing a good job. To some, Glee is the savior that will stop this madness.

For me....I just don't know what to say. I try not to pay attention to these things.

~AM