Bears. Sweets. Fullmetal Alchemist.

This year, like all of my years of existence, had a lot of stuff happen and was filled with many adventures. I will spare you all by not doing a month by month, "let's relive the entire year" thing. I'm sure I will talk about the events that transpired this year at various times. It's just preferable by many that I don't talk about it all at once.

So generally, the year 2010 was similar to how my break went.

It started off really sexy and awesome:

Then it ended with me trapped in a vortex of things that plague me sometimes:

In between all that I ate food and hung out with people. Some ninja stuff too. The End.

One thing I've noticed this break is that when I'm at college, I have this grand illusion of my life being generally alright. I feel pretty awesome. Sometimes I even have a bit of an ego and say to myself  "I am probably prettier than 10 people on this campus!".

However, when I journey back to my hometown, I am filled with a lot of unexplained rage and this tremendous desire to worry about everything. That's how I end up in that vortex. Maybe I'm on the internet too much during break.

 
I did also consume a plethora of cookies, candy and pretty much any sort of chocolate I could get my little hands on. I'm sure that does something to your brain. Whatever the cause, it made me have insomnia for a few days. There was seriously a night I couldn't sleep because every time I closed my eyes I had this vision of a grizzly bear mauling me.

Ahhh sleep deprived hallucinations are the best.

So, to combat these feelings, I usually drown myself in the latest show I've discovered. Right now, that show would be Fullmetal Alchemist. I admit with great shame that Fullmetal Alchemist was one of those things I pretended I had seen so I could fit in with my coworkers and friends who talked about anime. Now I don't have to pretend any longer! I really wish I had gotten around to watching it before though. It's quite the awesome show. Edward reminds me of myself when I was a young lad. Except I wasn't a lad.

I like how my ponytail keeps getting longer. *waggles eyebrows* I don't know what I'm talking about anymore.

Well friends, I'm tired of trying to keep you entertained this year. I promise I'll come back next year though. I'll be armed with more silly drawings like this gem I found today:

~AM

Cabbages and Condoms

I swear to god I'm not making this up.

I was sitting all lonely at the little cafe thing (because my fabulous friend Adley left me!) just doing my homework and blah like a good little college student. I happened to be reading my environmental studies book. It's...a decent textbook. Not too boring.

This particular chapter was about population growth...kinda boring. But ...it had a case study that was anything but boring.

It was titled "Family Planning is Thailand: A Success Story" . Alright...sounds a little cheesy...but I gotta read it.

Turns out it was all about this cafe named..... "Cabbages and Condoms".

That's right, not only does it sell spicy thai food, but it hands out condoms. This entire restaurant is dedicated to birth control.

Oh no it gets better.

So they have an adjoining gift shop. They sell t-shirts. The t-shirts proudly proclaim things like:

"A condom a day keeps the doctor away"

and my personal favorite

"Our food is guaranteed not to cause pregnancy"

Of course the gift shop also sells all sorts of crafts and condoms.

ok ok ok and get this: unintentionally the organization that runs the businesses is called PDA. I kid you not.

It's not over yet.

To promote the whole birth control yay, PDA:
-hands out condoms whenever there are crowds (????)
-held a condom balloon blowing contest for government officials
-teaches children a fun little tune called "Too many children make you poor"
-paints birth control ads on water buffalo (again ????)

Lastly, the guy who kinda started this whole deal, Mechai, is lovingly recognized for his actions. How? The slang for condoms in thailand is "mechais".

dude....the slang for condoms is HIS NAME.

So yeah....good thing I read that early on in the night. Any later and I fear I would have mistaken it for a hallucination.

That is all.

~AM

Squirrel Cop

http://www.tavres.com/Dave/TAL-SquirrelCop.wma

Listen to it.

Or you can not.

Anyway, today I was social. Hooray! I don't have a job though. Oh no! I tried getting a job as a telemarketer...though they claim it's not. The jobs were all taken though. :-(I can get a job as an assistant to the environmental studies department....yep.I can't save the earth by typing in data...but I guess it's a start.

I went to a GLOW (Gay Lesbian Or Whatever)meeting today. No, I am not gay, lesbian, or whatever. I'm a supporter....and supporters are allowed in the club too. Plus it's a way to be social without worrying about creeper guys stalking you. I guess...it might be girls now who might want to stalk me. Eh...I'll take it as a compliment. It was a lot of fun though. Fun people.

Alright. This is what I'm going to talk about today though:

http://shelleytherepublican.com/2006/04/27/harry-potter-the-hogwarts-express-to-hell.aspx

Oh. My. God.

I don't care if this has been going on since the books first came out. It is still entertaining for me to read stuff like this. The first paragraph just kills me.

Oh yes, children yearn to be good and learn about the wonders of God's glory. Where do they go? The library...which is supposed to be safe and good and full of christian-approved books. Then those damn librarians have to come and expose our children to satan!!!! And to think...they stock those books right next to the beloved Narnia books! The horror of it all!

The little anecdote provided by some kid in Atlanta? Yeah I didn't understand that either. It seems like they left out a few sentences. I didn't understand the connection of witchcraft and depression. "I like the books. Therefore I wanted to see if the spells worked because I'm a kid and I do stuff like that. Then I got depressed for some reason in 7th grade. I mean...no one is depressed at that age!"

Then it goes on to mention that Harry doesn't pray to God when he tries to defeat Voldemort and stuff and that God isn't mentioned at all. Oh no! There's a lot of books that don't mention God. Clifford...Arthur...you know...supposedly kid friendly books. So one could say also that...these lovable books are actually books that are evil and written by satan. I mean come on...there's got to be some witchcraft behind Clifford's enormous size and the fact that Arthur is a talking aardvark.

I don't know what this CAP alert that she mentions is...but I'll be sure to look it up.

blah blah blah it ends with god Bless America.

Fun Fact:

books that have been banned in various places in the USA:
Grapes of Wrath
Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
Catcher In the Rye
To Kill a Mockingbird
...pretty much a great majority of the books we had to read in High School have been banned in other places.

Also surprisingly, "Julie of the Wolves" is a challenged book. Which, I honestly don't understand at all.

~AM

There's Something Lacking

People.

So there was this girl. She wanted to borrow my bike for 10 minutes. Ok sure. Half an hour later she comes back and tells me I can lock it up now. We go up there. Bike is gone. Her friend randomly took it and started to ride it around. Her friend, I've noticed, likes to take bikes that aren't locked up and just...ride them around. She doesn't hurt them or steal them or whatever. She just...likes to ride bikes.

So there was this old guy. He's in my french class. I'm sure he's there to learn and blah blah blah and all...but he's creepy. He stares.

So there was this guy. He's pretty...fabulous.

So there's this girl. No wait...didn't I just see here over there? So there were these twins. They are from kansas. They are interesting. I can't even begin to describe them.

So there with this guy walking around. He had a cowboy hat, a bandanna around his neck, and short-short jean shorts on. Actually, there was a few of those today.

Yeah...then there's me. I keep mostly to myself I guess. I just observe. I'm just...not in the mood to make a whole new set of friends.

And anyways...even though I've met a lot of people here....no one else has really...clicked with me besides my roommate. I'm cool with that though. haha...I've already been a little rejected by people. Maybe I'm just awkward. Oh well. So be it.

College is cool and all. But...there's something missing.

It's you.

~AM