Transformation

I'd like to think I'm a mildly attractive semi-successful woman with one of the best personalities around.
But that's on a really good day. Now I've gotten a lot better with my self esteem...but little things still set me off and bring me to a point where I don't want to eat, sleep, or generally function.

The best solution I have so far is to dye my hair red.... thus transforming me into the most terrifyingly amazing person to walk the earth. 

Here is a drawing of how I predict my super special awesome ultra special sexy transformation sequence will go:

In theory, I'm going to go from the cute little blonde person that can be easily manipulated to the redheaded superwoman. I'm going to be so totally awesome I won't know what to do with myself. I'm gonna be riding on dinosaurs every day and shooting lasers out of my eyes and flying and stopping trains with just a look and taming bison and leading a war against orcas....

Unfortunately, as the time draws near for this transformation sequence to commence, I'm starting to realize that my plan is seriously flawed. Hair color can only give people a little boost in their confidence...and not so much superpowers or the ability to do anything I previously couldn't do. My self confidence is already teetering at the edge of "meh I suppose I'm trying my best" to "dear god smite me now because I fail at life" most days...so I seriously doubt a little hair color is gonna do much. But you never know.

On a related note, another thing that makes my self confidence plummet a little is when people like this can somehow find themselves in a relationship. Actually...that just makes me think this world is full of lies and bullshit. Still. I find it a little frustrating. Clearly, I wasn't made for this world. In more direct terms: The single life has taken a bit of a toll on me.

Anyways, I also have another thing worrying me about my transformation. What if people actually prefer the blonde me? WHAT IF I MADE THE WRONG CHOICE!? Bleh. From what I remember from the last time I dyed my hair red...people liked the redhead better. That's what I perceived at least. I'm sure there's a psychological reason behind all this. I don't feel like analyzing myself right now though.

Well...whatever happens in my transformation sequence, I'm sure I'll still be the same old me. Goddammit. No I'm kidding....kind of.

~AM